It was nice to have a weekend with no doctor/hospital visits. Mollie's moods really go up and down. She seems very lethargic and we're trying to figure out whether it's the chemo or depression (probably both). She says she wants to go to school, and she's not too interested in doing anything except watching T.V. and napping. It's hard to get her engaged in anything. Today she and I doctored up some of her stuffed animals and yesterday she got into an art project for a little while, but most of the time she was laying on the sofa.
Mollie did finally let me give her a shower today and we got all of the bandages off! Her appetite is good and she enjoys going outside. Today she and Matt bought a Radio Flyer wagon and we took it out for its maiden voyage after dinner (and I forgot the camera).
All of this is so heartbreaking. All Mollie knows is her "regular" life is over. She's not going to school, or ballet, or the Y. Aside from the docs saying that she couldn't, she's not feeling up to it. I know the importance of socialization and I wonder how this will affect her.
It's so hard to know how much we can push her to do routine things- like sitting at the table and eating dinner. The line between physical and emotional well-being in kids is very blurry. Limits and consistent discipline are important for kids; but when your child has a life-threatening disease and is taking drugs with horrible side effects, it's hard to be consistent.
My parents are leaving on Tuesday and Matt is going back to work tomorrow. With no family close by, all of the day to day stuff is going to be my responsibility. How ironic is it that THIS was going to be the year we moved to CA to be closer to family? Three weeks ago we were talking about how fall might be the best time to try to sell the house, quit jobs, etc. On the one hand I'm so glad we're in a stable situation because we have a home, health insurance, friends in the community, etc. On the other hand, we need family more than ever right now, and they live 3000 miles away. Sometimes I just want to throw something at the wall (preferably something that will make a loud noise and break into a million pieces)!