Wishing a very happy birthday to my Dad!
Two weeks ago, when I went to the pharmacy to pick up a new prescription for Septra (the antibiotic that Mollie still takes), I brought the remainder of Mollie's chemo drugs, the 6 MP, methotrexate, and dexamethasone, for disposal. This was a big step for me. Those vials had been sitting out, waiting for me to take care of them, for weeks. Since mid- August, actually. I couldn't bring myself to do it. There was that nagging thought: What if she relapses? These drugs are expensive and we might need them. So I ignored the thought and I ignored the vials.
Finally, I screwed up enough courage and unceremoniously dropped them off at the pharmacy. Done. Freed up some counter space.
It has been exactly 2 months since the end of Mollie's treatment. This is the longest she has been without chemo since her diagnosis, and she is feeling good. The skin irritation is improving. She is happy as a lark most of the time and is settling in to our new life. Occasionally, she wakes us up in middle of the night asking if we forgot her medicine. For the most part, I don't think twice about her medicine before going to bed; I am so over that. However, the downside of that is that we are always forgetting the Septra. Giving a medication just 3 days a week is so much more cumbersome than giving it every day because there is no routine.
Incidentally, I also scheduled her port removal surgery today. November 17. Twenty-nine months after her port was placed. Two years ago, when Mollie was going through some of her harshest chemo and was bald and feeling crappy, I promised that she could get her ears pierced when she finished treatment. Dr. Howell agreed to pierce her ears while she is under anesthesia so she won't even have to feel the pain. Score!
She is looking forward to the surgery, having now experienced a regular blood draw from her arm. We all are looking forward to putting that chapter behind us. I want to be happy about it. I am happy about it, but I'm also scared to be happy. Make sense?