Happy Birthday to Mom and Auntie Sally!
I am going to miss our house. This house, with all it's annoying quirks, funky wiring, and stained carpet, has been our home for the past 5 years. Inside these walls, we have hatched plans, celebrated accomplishments, and conquered fears. This is where Mollie found comfort after being discharged from the hospital and I slammed doors to vent my anger at her cancer diagnosis. We brought both Liam and Lucy home to this house when they were just one day old. Mollie learned to read here and lost her first tooth. Lucy took her first steps and said her first words. We have experienced so much of the joy, laughter, courage, anger, hurt, healing, and love that makes us a family in this house. It has been our home base.
Okay, now the tears are really flowing. It's not just the house. It's the community and the connections and memories we have here. When we bought this house, we didn't intend to stay here forever, but that doesn't make leaving any easier. I like the townhouse we are renting and I am eager for our family to be together every night, rather than have Matt be away several nights per week. But I am still sad.
Maybe I would feel differently if we were going to make a profit (or break even) on the sale of this house. Or maybe not, but the movers are coming either way. I'm putting on a smile for my kids. I've let them see me cry too, but they need the reassurance that this is okay.
We're going on vacation at the end of the month (just a week after they deliver all our stuff). My aunt is coming out to help with the unpacking (I can't thank her enough- she is the best godmother ever!!) and help me with the kids on the airplane because Matt won't be able to join us for a week. It is really chaotic (our life always is, it seems), but I think the vacation will help us take our minds off the move and relax. Hopefully we will return rejuvenated and ready for the beginning of first grade!, the end of treatment!, and some more unpacking, organizing, and adjusting to our new home.
Home
ReplyDeleteby Edgar Guest
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home,
A heap o' sun an' shadder, an' ye sometimes have t' roam
Afore ye really 'preciate the things ye lef' behind,
An' hunger fer 'em somehow, with 'em allus on yer mind.
It don't make any differunce how rich ye get t' be,
How much yer chairs an' tables cost, how great yer luxury;
I ain't home t' ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o' wrapped round everything.
Home ain't a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;
Afore it's home there's got t' be a heap o' livin' in it;
Within the walls there's got t' be some babies born, and then
Right there ye've got t' bring 'em up t' women good, an' men;
And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn't part
With anything they ever used -- they've grown into yer heart:
The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore
Ye hoard; an' if ye could ye'd keep the thumb marks on the door.
Ye've got t' weep t' make it home, ye've got t' sit an' sigh
An' watch beside a loved one's bed, an' know that Death is nigh;
An' in the stillness o' the night t' see Death's angel come,
An' close the eyes o' her that smiled,
an' leave her sweet voice dumb.
Fer these are scenes that grip the heart,
an' when yer tears are dried,
Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an' sanctified;
An' tuggin' at ye always are the pleasant memories
O' her that was an' is no more -- ye can't escape from these.
Ye've got t' sing an' dance fer years, ye've got t' romp an' play,
An' learn t' love the things ye have by usin' 'em each day;
Even the roses 'round the porch must blossom year by year
Afore they 'come a part o' ye, suggestin' someone dear
Who used t' love 'em long ago, an' trained 'em jes' t' run
The way they do, so's they would get the early mornin' sun;
Ye've got t' love each brick an' stone from cellar up t' dome:
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home.
From the book "A Heap o' Livin'" ©1916
Sarah- good luck with the moving adventure. And happy birthday to your mom and Sally, two women who definitely made houses into homes. -Liz
Thanks Liz! Their birthday is tomorrow but I'm not sure if I'll have internet service or any way to access the net.
ReplyDeleteSarah & family,
ReplyDeleteI just figured out that I have lived in 2 houses for 90+% of my life. Occasionally when I pass my moms old house I glance longingly at it & I stopped by once to introduce myself to the new owners. But it is just a physical presence. Memories don't disappear until they no longer matter (at least to the individual). I wish you the best and hope that you will love your new digs and not forget the old until it no longer matters. I am sure that new adventures and new challenges await you. You guys have always been great about dealing with that.
And since this is "All About Mollie" I wish her many great adventures and new and old friends in Charlotte.
See you at Tahoe.
Love you guys...
You made me cry too. You are amazing and thank you for blogging all of this, Sarah.
ReplyDeletehuge hugs and good luck,
Nicola
Thinking of you guys as you make this next amazing transition!!! Please send me your new address. Also, hoping we might get to see you when you come...I'm starting to look impressively large with the little guy. :) Miss you all.
ReplyDeleteL
I was all teary reading this. I wish you guys many wonderful memories at your new place. Also have a wonderful relaxing vacation!
ReplyDeleteAs fond as you are of this place, you will probably be equally so of the next. I love the honesty here, and I can certainly relate to the sadness of leaving a wonderful community behind. Hope to see all of you very soon! Sending many, many big hugs :)
ReplyDeleteHi Mollie
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I've just gotten moved and it is a real adventure! I would love to hear from you when you get to your new home. I sent my new info to your mom's email address.
Smiles... Mrs. Swenson